CarlieQ's Life

Blog fail

2011-02-21T18:46:00.000-07:00

Obviously I fail at updating a blog. Big time. I should be better at it considering I can blog from my phone, but somehow I just seem to forget!

Kids are growing fast. They amaze me every day. Aubrey has a serious spit-fire temper and has seemingly skipped over being a 1-year-old and gone straight for the terrible twos. While sweet and beautiful, she is also incredibly sensitive and dramatic. I cannot even begin to fathom the hell I will endure as she becomes a teenager! Jayden is actually becoming more and more manageable. Granted he still has his ridiculous moments, but I'd have to say it is Aubrey who has been the difficult one lately.

Today, Jayden helped me build a bookcase and it was so adorable. Watching him use the drill to screw the pieces together was both amazing and hilarious.

BJ loves his job and our life finally seems both happy and stable. I am looking forward to decorating our house, cleaning, and doing normal family things together. It has sadly been too long since I could say those things.

I'll work on more detailed updates later ;)

Why I care about health reform

2009-09-10T13:37:00.002-06:00

Those of you who are friends of mine on Facebook know that I have been following the health care debate closely. I wanted to take a minute and explain why this issue is so important to me. I have been a supporter of health reform for a long time. I want to share some stories. This is going to be a long post, so I will apologize in advance.

Six years ago, my cousin and his wife learned that their daughter, who had just turned 1, had a tumor on her liver which had metastasized into her lungs. She needed chemotherapy to get the cancer in her lungs, and a liver transplant. She went through many rounds of chemo and once all the cancer cells were gone from her lungs, she was placed on the transplant list. She was blessed to receive a new liver, and when they removed the old liver, they found the tumor was taking up 3/4 of it. Just the transplant alone was over $1,000,000.00. (My lifetime maximum on my current policy is one million dollars.) They were blessed to have excellent insurance through his job at Nintendo. After some time, the cancer came back. She had to go through chemo again. The chemo destroyed her new liver and she was once again placed on the transplant list. She received another liver. My cousin found a job in Utah and began working for the state. He is now working 2 jobs, his wife is working 1, and they have placed their little girl on Medicare as a secondary insurance to help with the costs of her ongoing treatment, as she will always be monitored closely. He is working 2 jobs just to pay for the costs of her medication. She becomes resistant to the medications after time so she must always be on the newest medications out there. The insurance companies wont cover those medications, even though they are the only ones that work. So he works two jobs and sacrifices every day so that he can keep his precious little girl alive and well. This is a VERY condensed version of the story, but this is only one of the stories I am going to share.

My uncle has cystic fibrosis. I am posting the definition of cystic fibrosis for those of you who aren't familiar with the genetic condition.

What is cystic fibrosis?

Cystic fibrosis (CF) is an inherited disease of your mucus and sweat glands. It affects mostly your lungs, pancreas, liver, intestines, sinuses, and sex organs.

Normally, mucus is watery. It keeps the linings of certain organs moist and prevents them from drying out or getting infected. But in CF, an abnormal gene causes mucus to become thick and sticky.

The mucus builds up in your lungs and blocks the airways. This makes it easy for bacteria to grow and leads to repeated serious lung infections. Over time, these infections can cause serious damage to your lungs.

The thick, sticky mucus can also block tubes, or ducts, in your pancreas. As a result, digestive enzymes that are produced by your pancreas cannot reach your small intestine. These enzymes help break down the food that you eat. Without them, your intestines cannot absorb fats and proteins fully.

As a result:

Nutrients leave your body unused, and you can become malnourished.
Your stools become bulky.
You may not get enough vitamins A, D, E, and K .
You may have intestinal gas, a swollen belly, and pain or discomfort.

The abnormal gene also causes your sweat to become extremely salty. As a result, when you perspire, your body loses large amounts of salt. This can upset the balance of minerals in your blood. The imbalance may cause you to have a heat emergency.

CF can also cause infertility (mostly in men).

The symptoms and severity of CF vary from person to person. Some people with CF have serious lung and digestive problems. Other people have more mild disease that doesn't show up until they are adolescents or young adults.

Respiratory failure is the most common cause of death in people with CF.

Until the 1980s, most deaths from CF occurred in children and teenagers. Today, with improved treatments, people with CF live, on average, to be more than 35 years old.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My uncle is 54. He worked as a chemical engineer until they decided he was too sick to continue working and the company forced him into long-term disability, which happened when I was only 5 or 6. He has saved his entire life to be able to pay for a lung transplant someday, which he was fortunate enough to receive a few months ago. He has insurance, but with our current system, it isn't enough.

I have poly-cystic ovarian syndrome, endometriosis, and non-classic cystic fibrosis (which was the cause of my pancreatitis along with a list of other problems that are CF related). Last year, I turned 26 which meant that I could no longer be on my parents insurance. I was engaged to be married, but at the time my wedding date was August 8, 2008. So for 6-months I would be left uninsured. For me, this is not an acceptable option. I wasn't working, as I was going to school at the time and my fiance was supporting both of us. We looked and looked for an acceptable insurance option, but I was told more than once that I was "uninsurable" on an individually underwritten policy. I also learned that while there is a pre-existing condition grace period of 60 or 90-days when going from group policy to group policy, the same does not apply when going from a group policy to an individually underwritten policy. We moved our wedding date up to June 6, 2008 and decided that the best option would be for me to go on Cobra until we were married and I could get on his policy. I was blessed to have family help cover the exceptionally high costs of Cobra for 3-months, as BJ and I could not have done so on our own.

It was very lucky that we did that, as we discovered on April 4, 2008 that I was pregnant with our first child. However, I was uninsured for 5 days - which I was not aware of at the time, I thought the coverage ran through the 5th of each month, that was not the case. During that 5-day period of time, I had some pre-natal testing done. The costs of the one day of tests for me, because I was not insured and thus had no price negotiating power, was over $1300.00, which I am still paying for. In November, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. My cost for that was $1500.00. In January, I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance as my oxygen levels dropped to 65 (anything below 90 is considered bad) and I was turning blue. I am still paying the out of pocket medical bills for that as well. This may not seem like a lot to some, but when you are working on a single income to raise a family, this really adds up. We blew through all $1500 of our flex spending by May of this year and we still have well over $3000.00 in medical bills that we are making payments on.

On August 28, 2009 my husband was laid off from his job, as his company decided to save money and outsource their IT department. I am currently 4-months pregnant. It has already been established that I am uninsurable under the current system. Because I am pregnant, I will qualify for Medicaid when the severance Cobra runs out; however, I have never been on state assistance for anything and would prefer to have an option to actually pay a reasonable premium for quality medical care. And then what will happen after I have the baby if, God forbid, my husband is still unemployed? Will I be able to stay on Medicaid if we can't afford to continue Cobra? These are things that worry me deeply.

Obama recently passed a plan to help make Cobra more affordable, and I thank God that he did so. Without the discount associated with the Obama plan, our monthly Cobra premiums would be $916.00 a month, with his discount it is down to $320.00.

We are praying that BJ is able to find a job quickly. He is intelligent and excellent at what he does, but the pregnant woman in me is preparing for the worst case scenario. I am now one of the millions in this great country that could be without insurance. That seems unacceptable to me. Not just for selfish reasons, but for all of those other people out there who face similar circumstances.

I have worked in the insurance industry. I know how inefficient the system is. I know how often claims are denied for the silliest of reasons. We desperately need reform with a public option of some kind. There needs to be competition out there. There needs to be change. We cannot continue the path we are on. One of the leading causes for bankruptcy in this country is medical bills. As a nation, we love to say how we are the best, the greatest, the most prosperous nation on earth. Yet how can a great nation leave so many without affordable health care? I have heard talk of subsidies and vouchers, but that does not come close to making health care affordable. The average person has no idea of the cost of any procedure or office visit prior to the visit. We cannot make informed decisions on our own. We do not have negotiating power to lower prices. The insurance companies do not pay the amount billed, they have a contractual agreement with providers which lowers prices. The uninsured do not have this option. What does one do when they can't afford the premiums to get on an individually underwritten policy or when the insurance they can afford doesn't cover enough which leaves them with huge out of pocket expenses?

I know this is an exceptionally long post, but this is something that I truly believe in. This is something that I feel is so important for our country. I believe in personal accountability, but I also believe that it is wrong to allow people in this country to suffer and die because they can't afford health care. Many still get health care, but the cost is passed on to those with insurance by increased costs for medical care. It is easy to be disconnected from this issue, it is easy to say "well I'm healthy so why should I pay for someone who is sick?" because someday, you could be the unlucky and unfortunate one to get sick. We all pay for Medicare and seniors love it. We should take as good of care for the rest of our citizens as we do for our seniors.

Health Care bill

2009-08-23T23:37:00.000-06:00

I started reading the 1000 page house bill HR3200 health care reform bill. I haven't finished it, but wanted to give a quick analysis on what I have read thus far.

I am going to start with the rumor about death panels and that this bill will "pull the plug on grandma" I have read the section in question regarding these claims and I cannot comprehend how one came to such a conclusion. The bill says that Medicare will pay for end of life counseling as often as every 5-years for those who wish to receive it. It also outlines what should be covered in such a counseling session. It concludes that doctors must adhere to the wishes of the patient for "life sustaining treatment." Again, I cannot see how a connection is made between calling for life sustaining treatment with the payment of optional counseling for seniors and death panels or killing old people. In my opinion, this is just meant to scare the elderly, which is both cruel and unfair. Few people will actually take the time to read the bill and we depend on our elected officials to accurately relay the information to us, as well as the media. This is not happening causing an irrational uproar over absolutely nothing.

Next, the bill states that policies must remove the lifetime and annual maximum on coverage, again a good thing. It says that coverage cannot be denied or delayed on the basis of a pre-existing condition. Another excellent thing. The details of the public plan are fantastic and would essentially be a big group plan for those who are uninsured or interested in participating because coverage on an individually underwritten plan is so difficult to attain.

I will keep reading, however because so few in favor are speaking out, especially those favoring a public OPTION, Washington is back peddling and talking of removing the public option which will significantly weaken the reform and cost savings to Americans. Why else would insurance companies stock prices be soaring with the white houses public wavering on said option? The crazies and the misinformed are speaking the loudest and getting the most attention, leading our lawmakers to cower in fear and assume that is a majority opinion. If you favor a public option, make yourself heard. We need to fight back or we will lose this fight and as the congressional budget office reported, if effective reform is not passed - especially reform without a public option, 1/4 of a family's income will go to medical premiums and costs by 2020. We are currently spending 18% of our incomes on insurance, on average.

Just my thoughts.

First Pre-Natal Visit & Update!

2009-08-04T21:31:00.004-06:00

A happy Jayden in his crib. I walked in to get him in the morning and this is how he greeted me!

We had our first prenatal visit today. I got to hear my baby's heartbeat for the first time. It was a wonderful experience. It never ceases to amaze me that I am growing a little person inside of me. My official due date is February 24, 2010. Although, the doctor was kind enough to remind me that I had Jayden at 37-weeks, so I was likely to have this one early too LOL. If I have this baby at 37-weeks also, that puts me at the beginning of February. I suppose 14-months apart for the little ones isn't too bad. I go in for the integrated screening on the 17th, and it will be the end of September before we officially learn the sex. However, the pool for "girl" is growing by the minute. Even my doctor and her nurse are guessing "girl" because I am so much more sick this time around than I was last time. I have just had a feeling all along that I was having a girl, just like I had a feeling all along that Jayden would be a boy. In fact, I've bought a couple of little girl items and have been calling the baby Aubrey when I talk to my tummy. If it is a girl, her name will be Aubrey McKenna Hahn. If it is a boy, we're still arguing over names! I like Mason, he says no. All the other names I like have been taken! So, fingers crossed for a girl! Makes the naming process easier... bedroom situation a little more difficult eventually, but naming process easier!

Uncle Val got out of the hospital today and looked like he was doing pretty darn good considering he wasn't on any pain meds and he had chest tubes taken out earlier today. His siblings came together and bought him an iPod Classic. I loaded it with music and books and took it to him in the hospital last week. I really wanted to get him a useful recovery gift and wasn't in a position financially to purchase it myself, so I emailed my aunts and uncles and they all liked the idea :) So they put up the cost, I just got to do the work behind it. I had tried for weeks to make the audiobooks I have work on his cell phone with micro sd cards and it just wasn't working... Verizon has a stupid method for adding files and sorting them. You can't just put in a folder and have the device sort the files that way... you have to add each file to the phone and it is a pain in the butt to say the least.... I finally just gave up! Besides an iPod is a much more wonderful way to listen to things.

BJ has a job interview tomorrow, I know that whatever is meant to happen will. I just hope that if this job isn't meant to be, something else will come up soon. I want to see him happy again and loving his job. He loves the work he does, but with so much that has gone on at his company over the past year, it is just hard to stay there... In fact, he has lasted longer than I thought. But, that network is his baby. He created it, molded it, put so much time and effort into it, that he was hanging on. When people don't understand what he does and ignorantly believe that technology is just magic, it makes things difficult. That is the life of an IT guy. People just think that their computers, the internet, all of it is just magic and simple. Of course, we are just grateful that he still has a job. So many others have been unfortunate enough to lose theirs and that makes life so difficult. He is this family's sole provider. I am blessed to be able to stay at home, but with that comes certain other realities, such as what would happen if he were to lose his job. We just hope that is something we never have to deal with.

We are going on a vacation with my mom and brothers to California on Saturday the 8th through the 16th. It will be the last family vacation for at least 2 years, as Brandon will be going on his mission in a month. So hard for me to think that I will be without my baby brother for two whole years. He will miss the birth of his newest niece/nephew. Luckily we can send pics and email. If I wasn't able to have any communication with him for that long I would go crazy! I might kidnap him and force him to stay home! I'm selfish, I know. He is really excited about it though and that is what matters. I haven't had to deal with my other siblings going on missions, as they chose to stay home. California will be a lot of fun for us though. We got tickets to Six Flags, as well as Sea World. I'm so excited to see how Jayden reacts to all the fish. I am a little apprehensive as to how he will do for the most of the trip, we have such a schedule when he is home and to deviate from that could mean a grumpy boy... We shall see!

We are hoping that when we get home from this trip life will calm down a little for us. We still need to get the house in order, get some things organized and de-clutter. It is amazing how much crap single people can accumulate! My wardrobe alone is massive and I don't wear 90% of the stuff I have. When you are DINKS without a washer and dryer, it is sometimes more efficient to buy new clothes rather than do laundry... This adds up quickly and then you just have boxes and boxes of clothing and more socks and underwear than will fit in 3 dresser drawers! Now that I have the anti-emetics to help with my morning sickness, as well as the CPAP I will hopefully be getting soon, I am hoping to be able to be more productive. Being exhausted and nauseated all the time makes productivity limited. Some days it takes all I have in me to be mom... adding housekeeper to that just isn't going to happen. For those women out there who can do it all, hats off to you because I don't know how you do it. One doesn't have a choice when it comes to taking care of the little one(s), we have to do it whether we feel like crap or not. However, dishes, vacuuming, dusting, laundry, etc., can all wait - up to a point... I have reached that point! haha. Anyway, that is enough ranting for now. I will write again soon.

Jayden

2009-07-20T22:41:00.003-06:00

Long time, no blog

2009-07-17T23:15:00.000-06:00

It has been a really long tine since I took a moment to post anything. Our life has been so crazy for the past few months that I just haven't had the time. I'll highlight some of the big events.

Probably the biggest is that we found out that I'm pregnant again. The kids will be 15-months apart. At first I wasn't sure about this news. I had been on antibiotics for a month and it seems that is all it took. An anniversary baby was created! I'm 9-weeks along as of today. Now that I've had some time to process this information, I'm really excited about it. None of my siblings, or my husband's for that matter, are going to be having kids anytime soon, and this way Jayden will have a playmate. Yes it will be difficult. This is not news to us. However, since I was told repeatedly that I probably couldn't have kids, we are excited and feel like this was meant to be just as Jayden was.

My dear uncle Val was blessed with a lung transplant a month or so ago. I'm told that he is doing really well. We have been staying away, as I was sick and now Jayden is. They are staying with Stacy and Matt which is great because Val gets the opportunity to see his granddaughter on a daily basis.

I started a painting project a couple of months ago, but I bit off a little more than I could chew and sadly it is still incomplete. Because of this idiocy on my part, the house is in a state of complete disarray. We are working on it slowly but surely. It is making us awful friends and family members, but we need to get our house in order and finally make it ours. For so long we have lived here with the previous owners decor and they are about 40 years older than us. Needless to say, their taste differs greatly from ours. I still have no idea why they have a plant hook in the shower. Ahh generational differences lol. Mostly the house is in desperate need of updating. They have brass everything, awful floral wallpaper all over, and pink carpet. While we can't afford to replace all the carpet right away, with some paint and wallpaper remover we at least stand a chance of making it look nicer.

Jayden is growing so fast. He is sitting up and almost crawling. He is up on all fours and cam crawl backwards. He rolls all over the place. He is still just the happiest little guy, the best part is that he is a total momma's boy. It is very sweet. He is also very cuddly and I love that. His little giggle melts my heart. Who knew that kind of love was even possible!!! He loves the bath. He thinks he's a fish! He kicks and splashes and talks up a storm. Giving him a bath went from chore to fun activity!! At his 6-month checkup he was in the 8th percentile for weight and 78th for height. His pediatrician said he was the length of the average 9-month old lol. Tall and skinny, that's my boy. He definitely doesn't take after his mother in that regard.

A week or so ago we got some very sad news that BJ's cousin passed away in a tragic hiking accident on Mount McGuinnes in Alaska. He hiked to the top, was so excited he called his mom to tell her that he had made it. Thirty minutes later his mom got another call from one of his friends saying that Cameron went after a backpack that fell and they hadn't seen or heard from him since. Search and rescue were called in and his body was found hours later. He fell over 500 feet down an avalanche chute. He was only 16. Breaks my heart. After I heard the news, all I could do was go downstairs and hold my baby boy. Parents shouldn't have to bury their children. That is an experience I hope to never have for myself. I don't think I'm strong enough for it.

Work has been hell for BJ all year. It seems to finally be slowing down some, but from January to May he was working 80-100 hours a week preparing to move the company to their new location. He created an entire network infrastructure from scratch and everything was fully operational the day they moved in. Unfortunately few understand just how much goes in to making a network work flawlessly, IT is one of those magic fields where people just think you go poof and everything works. If only that were the case. It took him away from his family for months, he missed a lot of time with his new son, but he knew the entire company was counting on him to make this work and as usual he gave it his all and came through for them. I was and am very proud of him. He sacrificed a lot and put himself through hell to ensure that he did the best job he could for his company. I am lucky to have such a wonderful partner and provider for our family.

Last night I spent the night at LDS hospital in the sleep center. The doctor thinks I have sleep apnea and so I had to do a sleep study to confirm it. They do their best in those places to make you as comfortable as possible, but having electrical probes and wires stuck all over your body makes it rather impossible to sleep. I felt like I didn't sleep at all. The nurse told me that I slept more than I thought I did though lol. I am hoping that this will help me to have more energy and be able to wake more rested everyday. I hate being tired all the time and when I'm pregnant I can't use my caffeine crutch like I normally do lol. I will let you know how it works out!

Anyway, this is only a small bit of what is going on in our world these days. I hope everyone can forgive us for being bad friends and family members. We are doing our best, but we have finally decided that we need to focus on our home and family for a little while so we can get things under control. Once things slow down a bit it will be easier to make it up to everyone.

The bottle/rice experiment

2009-03-17T11:35:00.001-06:00

This morning I gave Jayden a bottle with rice in it. I only gave him 1tbsp with 2oz of formula. I thought it would fill him up longer. Sleeping through the night is not a problem, the little one sleeps 10-11 hours a night. It is awesome LOL. So far it hasn't filled him up longer. He ended up drinking 5oz this morning when he woke up, with the rice added, and two hours later he was hungry again. He us a difficult eater sometimes. He eats a little bit at a time sometimes and others he pigs out and drinks a 6oz bottle. It makes judging the size of a bottle a bit difficult LOL.

After reading Jami's comment on my last post I am going to try actually feeding it to him with a spoon to see how he does. I may seem a bit anxious to jump the gun in reducing the dependency on formula, and honestly I am!! A month or two ago I had to switch from the similac soy formula, which I can buy in bulk

The results

2009-03-17T00:56:00.000-06:00

Well we did it. We went shopping for the first time by ourselves. Overall it was a great experience. Jayden was such a good kid. He was awake the whole time nut didn't fuss at all until the very end, but all I had to do was take him out of his car seat and hold him and he was happy again. I need a food sling to wear in those situations. I have a couple already, but they won't really work well until he grows a little bit bigger. The Eddie Bauer one I bought a few days ago is great it is just not quite tight enough. I don't feel like he is secure enough in the sling and that freaks me out a titch.

While we were out I picked up some rice and oatmeal to add to his bottle. I think it is time to add a little and see how he does. He is nearly 4-months now. That is usually the time when they say you can start giving the little one rice in the bottle. I hope he does well with it. With as much as he is eating now, we are going through formula so quick, and his formula isn't cheap!

I'll let you know how my little experiment goes :)

A new experience

2009-03-16T12:00:00.000-06:00

For the first time since my son was born, I am going to to shopping today alone with him. I generally put it off until my husband can to with me or at least I have someone to watch Jayden for a little bit. However, this fear of shopping alone with him has caused me to run out of a the necessities at home to be able to make dinner LOL. So today I am going to try to conquer my fear and take him out in the open all alone. I just hope that he behaves because that is where my fears stem. He is a great baby and I'm sure that he will be fine. I'll let you know if my fears are conquered after today.

iPhone blogging

2009-03-08T15:32:00.002-06:00

For my birthday I also got an iPhone :) now I can blog from my phone!!

It has been a while since I have been able to post and so much has happened!! Jayden is getting so big. He is starting to laugh and he smiles all the time. He is just adorable and so much fun! We bought one of those overhead play gyms and he loves it. His favorite toys are the ones with the big eyes. It is so amazing to see him grow and develop. I can't wait for all of the changes to come. Motherhood is absolutely incredible.
Jayden on his 3-month birthday! Such a little stud!!

My happy family!

We had a small blessing for Jayden on my birthday in Logan. We only had immediate family present, but these pictures were taken that day. It was a really wonderful day!

I <3 my husband!

2009-02-25T13:34:00.002-07:00

I am so lucky and blessed to have such a wonderful husband! Yesterday he surprised me with a laptop for my birthday :) I am so excited!!! I have wanted one for so long and this is just perfect! He is just such a wonderful man and amazing father. I just love him and I wanted to share that! LOL

Smiles

2009-02-02T16:47:00.005-07:00

I took some smiling pictures today! I also took video of him rolling over. He has done this a few times now, as long as he starts out in the right position he can get enough leverage to make himself roll over. He is getting so big so fast!

He took a 4-hour nap today, after which he was just happy and smiling, we played for about two hours. It was so much fun! I imagine that he is going to be laughing soon. He has recently discovered his tongue, it is the cutest thing! He sticks it out all the time, moves it all around... he was doing it in the video above. It really only started a couple of days ago. Just another sign that he's growing up. He tries to talk to me all day. Just the sweetest little man. I am so blessed to have such a happy baby. BJ and I have always said we want 4 kids, but today I thought (only for a moment) that maybe I'd just stick with one because I'm so afraid that my next baby will be a screamer! Jayden just has a sweet temperament and I love it. I have been teasing that God made Jayden so sweet so I'd have more children! However, I'm totally opposed to only having one child so I know that BJ and I will end up with at least two.

Anyway, since he is smiling so much now I think it is finally time for some professional photos. My step-brother-in-law's sister Jami (good lord that is complicated lol) did an incredible photo shoot of her daughter Anna right after she was born and I would have loved to have been able to do something like that, but I think the kind of black and white, naked baby pictures she had done are better with girls than boys. The pics Jami had taken of Anna were right out of an Anne Geddes book! When we have Aubrey (yes we have our girls name picked out already! We had both our first son and daughter's names picked out before we even got engaged!) I think I will do something like that for her. Jayden is just going to have to settle for a trip to JC Penney's or what mom can do from home lol.

Allergist & New pics

2009-02-01T01:02:00.008-07:00

On Friday I had another doctor's appointment, this time with an allergist, during which my fabulous mother-in-law agreed to watch my baby! So I took Jayden to her around 1pm so I could make it to my appointment, which went well. I have "chronic idiopathic urticaria" a fancy way of saying "you chronically get hives all over and we have no idea why." Because of this, he wouldn't do a scratch test on me so we can do immuno-therapy (allergy shots). I'm getting some blood work done to rule out a few things as the cause of the hives, and I am just supposed to keep doing what I've been doing to keep the hives under control. Lots of fun :) Actually, its not a problem. I just have to remember to take a whole bunch of allergy meds on a daily basis and carry around an epi-pen. The doctor thought that the hormonal changes during my pregnancy have just increased my allergies and that is the most likely cause of the chronic hives. Good old pregnancy, changes everything!

Cassy, my mother-in-law, invited us over for dinner Friday night since she was watching Jayden that afternoon anyway. It was a fabulous time. We got a bunch of cute pictures.

It is so amazing to me how much he grows and changes on a daily basis! He was almost 11lbs and 23-1/2 inches long! That is 3 inches since birth! He's just long and skinny! We finally have his sleeping through the night in his pack and play. We've even started working on a regular nap-time schedule! I've been putting him in his pack and play and even if he isn't tired I just bundle him up and leave him in there until he falls asleep.

He is just so much fun right now. He is such a happy, playful, observant little man. He just melts my heart every day.

2-months and turning blue

2009-01-28T05:13:00.004-07:00

I have been slacking on the blogging front. I apologize. There has been so much going on. Jayden is already two months old and just as cute as can be! He is such an incredible little baby. He generally only cries when he needs something, most of the time he's just happy! He loves to look at lights and our ceiling fans. He just stares off at the ceiling all the time. He loves the rocker/glider my mom gave us for Christmas. It is in the bay window in our bedroom and we just rock and he stares out the window. I'm amazed at how alert and observant he is. He smiles all the time now, his facial expressions just crack me up! I should post pictures, and I will, just not right now! (I'm only up and typing this because I am once again covered in hives and I am getting allergy tests on Friday so I can't take anything to get rid of the hives... my entire body is on fire and I can do nothing about it! So I'm blogging to take my mind off the pain! haha)

BJ and I had been bad and were letting Jayden sleep in bed with us... I have to say though, I thought it was fabulous. Anyway, we have finally got him to a point where he will sleep on his own in his pack and play which is at the foot of our bed. We just have to swaddle him up tight and he sleeps for hours in there. He's pretty much sleeping through the night. We are starting to work on a schedule for him so that he has consistent nap times. We'll see how that goes! He gets his shots on Thursday, so I will probably cave and just hold him through his naps and through the night until next week! I'm kind of a pushover! All in all though, Jayden is a fabulous baby and I still totally love motherhood!

About two weeks ago I had a pretty scary experience. I got bronchitis and at my 6-week postpartum checkup I got an antibiotic for it. The next day, Jan 14, I had a coughing fit - which is normal for bronchitis, but it wouldn't stop. All that coughing caused a broncospasm and my airways started to constrict. I couldn't breathe at all. At 9:40p.m. BJ, Jayden, and myself jumped in the car and BJ rushed me to the nearest IHC Instacare. The entire car ride I thought I was going to die, I could not get oxygen, it was so scary. When we got to the clinic, he stopped at the door, I jumped out and made my way inside. It was so hard to walk and get inside... I got to the desk and I managed to say "help." The women yelled for a nurse to get out there right away, they said I was cyanotic or blue, the nurse started to help me into the back when I started to pass out from lack of oxygen. The nurse and receptionists caught me and put me on the bed. Luckily the oxygen mask started to help a little so they didn't have to intubate (put a tube down my throat to breathe for me). So immediately the nurse called the ambulance for me, as I had to be taken to the hospital. BJ was there, Jayden was being an angel and sleeping peacefully in his car seat. BJ called his parents to meet us at the IMC hospital. The ambulance showed up and rushed me to the hospital, flashing lights and all! We passed BJ on the way, he said it was the first time in his life he'd been passed by an ambulance and known who was in it.

When we got there, the E.R. doctor admitted me. So after only 6-weeks, I had to spend the night away from my son... it was torture. I spent the night in the hospital. On the 15th, they told me I could go home (around 6pm). We tried to find out why this was happening, asked if they thought I should get some oxygen to go home with just in case, they said no... the doctor said he was "confident" that we had it under control and I'd be fine, I just needed to followup with a pulmonologist and my primary care physician.

So home we went, scared to death that I would once again stop breathing. I did pretty good that night. I had my breathing treatments at home, I was on prednisone (steroid), I was just hoping I'd be fine and that I could meet with doctors and they would figure out what triggered this level of attack so we could prevent it from happening again. I mean, I went from breathing fine with a bit of a wheeze to an oxygen sat level of 65 (normal is 98-99) within 30 minutes! I went from normal to BLUE in 30 minutes! Anyway, the 16th gets here, my mom is down here to help me around the house and help with Jayden - my mother-in-law is also here helping, BJ was working from home just in case something happened. The moms were helping me take down my Christmas tree and decor when once again it started happening again! I tried to control it from home, I did 2 breathing treatments and I just couldn't breathe. My mom rushed BJ and myself to that same instacare. Cassy stayed at my house with Jayden. I got to the instacare and one of the women who was there from Wednesday night took one look at me, said "Oh no, again??" rushed me to the back and put me on oxygen. This time my O2 levels were only down to 85, we didn't wait as long the second time around. I was so memorable though that the receptionist didn't even have to ask my first name, just what my last name was again! I must have made quite the impression! The doctor gave me some IV steroids and more prednisone, (for you medical saavy folks, I was given 250mg of Solumedrol and 100mg of Prednisone!) I was pumped full of steriods to help with the inflammation. They had me on oxygen and did more breathing treatments, I was at the instacare for 3 hours when the doctor decided that I needed to go to the ER at IMC. So once again the ambulance was called and away I went. No lights this time, I was stable enough to just be transported normally. We got to the ER, they ran a whole bunch of tests, but they were extremely busy and I was pretty stable! We sat there for 8 hours and then got sent home with the same instructions and reassurances we received the day before.

My mom stayed over the weekend to help, Sunday rolls around, I started to have another episode only this time it had a new and interesting component. My tongue swelled up in my mouth! I was wheezing and doing the breathing treatments at home, and while I was using my nebulizer, I noticed that my tongue was huge! I managed to choke down some Benadryl and we just waited to see what happened. This time we were able to stick it out at home, the Benadryl finally worked, my tongue returned to normal size after a few hours, my breathing returned to somewhat normal... It was an interesting night.

Where do we go from here? I'm going to the CF (cystic fibrosis) clinic at the University of Utah today. They are going to run tests and keep an eye on me. I have what is considered CF-TR related conditions, its somewhat complicated, I'll save that explanation for another post. I have an appointment with an allergy doctor on Friday, and my primary care doc is overseeing it all. My primary care doctor is awesome and I am going to do whatever it takes to make sure we get everything under control. Suffocating is one of the scariest things I have ever experienced and I want to do everything I can to ensure that it doesn't happen again. I have a beautiful little man that I need to be healthy for! As usual, I'll keep you posted. :)

Life as Mom

2008-12-22T15:20:00.002-07:00

I have 3 younger brothers. Each of my brothers has a unique personality, as well as a couple things they are exceptional at and passionate about. For Michael it has been skiing and motorcycles. He loves to ski, would do it daily, and he is exceptional at it. For Brady, it is video games and knowledge/learning. He is a genius and he has escaped into his head and video games for as long as I can remember. Brandon's passions are baseball and sports. I realize that baseball is a sport; however, baseball is his first passion the other sports come next.

I have always envied my brothers' talents and passion until now. For the first time in my life, I am passionate about something and I feel like I was meant to do something. I feel like I have a calling in life. I know it sounds cliche' and it most likely is, but I know that I was meant to be a mom. I was meant to have this little man and take care of him. I have never been as good at anything as I am at being a mom. I know, I sound conceded or like I think I know everything about motherhood. That couldn't be farther from the truth. I don't know anywhere close to everything, but I have instincts. I have some experience around babies. They have never intimidated me. Being a mom, it just feels right. Taking care of Jayden, just feels like my calling. I've toyed with many other professions, with many other fields. I have never felt like this with anything before. I know I'm good at this and this is the most incredible thing I have ever experienced.

I am tired, my house is a mess, I fall asleep while pumping, but I'm happier than I have ever been. Life as a mom could not be any more rewarding. I have a loving, supportive husband who is also an incredible father and together we make up a little family I never thought I would have. I am blessed beyond measure.

Jayden Chandler

2008-12-18T15:09:00.006-07:00

So it has been quite a while since my last post. Lots to update.
On November 29, 2008 at 9:20 am I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Jayden Chandler Hahn weighed 7 lbs 6 oz and was 20-1/2 inches long.

I had my 36-week appointment with the doctor on November 14. When she checked me, I was 2cm dilated and 70% effaced. The next week, I was 3cm dilated and 75% effaced. During this time I had false labor a few times. On November 26, I went into the doctor's office for my 38-week appointment. My usual doctor was out of town for the holiday, so the on-call doctor saw me and stripped my membranes. I was 3-1/2cm dilated and 80% effaced. I didn't know what it meant to have my membranes stripped exactly, I had heard others talk about it, but the only thing I really knew was that it hurt like hell and was supposed to speed up the process. I was okay with the thought of speeding things up, as I was really sick of false labor; however, I didn't want to have him on Thanksgiving day.

Well, Thanksgiving day came and nothing happened. I had contractions, but nothing major. The little guy just liked it in there way too much. My mom planned to come down on the 28th because I stayed in SLC for Thanksgiving. So the night of Thanksgiving, I got maybe 3-4 hours of sleep total. I woke up on the 28th at around 8 because my mother-in-law was calling about a "Black Friday" sale and wanted to know if we wanted to come over for breakfast. Since my mom was coming down that day, and his grandparents were still in town, I just got up and stayed up rather than trying to sleep more that day. I was still convinced nothing was going to happen. We were pretty busy that whole day. My mom, Brandon, Mike, and Jenessa were all over at our house visiting. We watched "A Very Colbert Christmas" together and it was hilarious. After it finished, I was writing something down and my fingers hurt so badly I could barely write and bend them. I decided that I needed to check my blood pressure. I had the equipment to do so at my house, and both Mike and I knew how to do it. So, Mike and I went into the kitchen and proceeded to check my blood pressure. It was 160/101. We checked it 3 times to be sure. I immediately called the on-call doctor. Dr. Brown called me back within minutes. It was around 8 or 9pm at this time. She told me to head into the hospital right away and that they were going to run tests and probably induce me. That is essentially what happened.

We got into the hospital, they ran tests. By the time we got to the hosptial my blood pressure had dropped down to 149/93. Still high, but not bad or so I thought. I was on fluids, we were in limbo waiting for blood tests to come back and waiting to find out whether or not I was going to get induced. Since my pressure had dropped, BJ and I thought I was going to get sent home. We were wrong. They decided to admit me and induce me. Because of the blood pressure issues, I wasn't allowed to labor in the ways that I had planned. I had to stay in the bed the whole time rather than being able to move around or labor in the tub to help me go natural. I was still okay with this though. I mentally prepared myself. They started me on Pitocin, on a low dose at my request to allow me to progress naturally. Around 2am, Dr. Brown came in and explained to me that they wanted to break my water and gave me the reasons why. I agreed and my water broke. This is when labor began. I forgot to mention that when I got in to the hospital, I was dilated to a 4 and 90% effaced. Beej called the doula I hired and the process began.

I was still planning on going natural at this point. The doula arrived and I think we forgot to mention to her what changes took place and why we were in the position we were in. Anyway, with the help and support of my wonderful husband, mother, mother-in-law, nurse (DeeDee from 11pm-7am) and doula, I made it to an 8cm dilation before I got an epidural. I was so exhausted at this point. I had been awake since 8am the previous day and not been able to take a nap. The contractions were intense and one on top of the other. I couldn't get a break and what I thought I was going to experience with my doula, I wasn't experiencing. I just couldn't do it anymore and I caved. When I initially said "ok I can't do it anymore" the anesthesiologist was about to do a c-section; however, he was going to run in and give me the epidural first. (My mom, mother-in-law, and nurse wanted me to get the epidural about 2 hours before I actually did). Unfortunately, the c-section became an emergency one and I had to wait for that to finish before I could get my epidural, which was another hour. After the anesthesiologist administered the epidural, which was a low dose one that I could control, I was able to take a nap for 30-min until they put in the catheter. I was still able to move my legs and I could still feel the pressure, but the edge had been taken off the sharp intense pain of the contractions. I think I got the epidural around 6am because the last thing my nurse DeeDee got to do was put in the catheter, then her shift was over. Lori was my next nurse and she too was phenomenal. Shortly after Lori came on, I got to start pushing. She had me start pushing at 8am, but had me stop for like 30 min for some reason. Then I started pushing again and he was almost out when I had to stop pushing again so Dr. Brown could deliver another baby lol. However, after only an hour of real pushing, Jayden Chandler was born at 9:20am on November 29.

It was an incredible experience. While I didn't want the epidural, now that I know how this hospital does it, I would do it again. Immediately after he was born and I was getting transferred up to maternity, I was able to walk myself into my wheelchair and from the wheelchair into the new bed. I had such a low dose epidural that I still retained all of my function and control, which I was worried about. Plus, without it, I don't think I would have had the energy to push him out. The nurses at Intermountain Medical Center were phenomenal. DeeDee and Lori were a godsend to me. My family was amazing as well. Aside from the preeclampsia, I wouldn't change a thing about the entire event.
A tired me with my beautiful baby boy!!
Jayden Chandler caught smiling at 1-week.

I have to get the pics from that day from my in-laws and my mom... I was a bit busy to be taking pics lol

More to come later!

34-weeks, my Gram, Uncle Val, Life....

2008-10-29T12:23:00.002-06:00

I had another doctors appointment today. As usual, things are going great. Weight gain is good, I think I gained like 2 pounds since my last appointment, blood pressure is good, everything is good with my pregnancy. Now I'm just working on my son to convince him that the week of Thanksgiving is the best time to come out and play! lol

Thursday, 10/23/08, my Uncle Val was taken in an ambulance from Logan to the University of Utah hospital because he was coughing up blood. My uncle has cystic fibrosis, he is one of the oldest living people in the world with this condition, he is 53 (I think). The oldest on record lived to about 70. The average life span is around 16 years I believe. Anyway, he is now in the hospital again. This in and of itself is nothing new. He is always in the hospital to get "cleaned out" and get anti-biotics and such. After being admitted, the doctors told him that he would be in the hospital for months this time. They ran a bunch of tests and finally allowed him to be put on the lung transplant list. We are all hoping and praying that he gets a lung soon and that the transplant goes well.

I know many of my friends are religious, my family is having a fast/prayer this weekend. If nothing else, when you go to the temple or say your prayers at night, please include him in them if you can.

So, Friday 10/24/08, my Gram was admitted to the hospital. She fell a bunch of times, got a concussion, broke a rib... She isnt' doing well. They released her today, but they say that she is going to need constant care from now on. I can't imagine them putting her in a home. It is so sad. She has always been such a strong and independent woman. To see her now at this point breaks my heart. I am heading to Logan tonight to spend time with her. I feel that I need to spend as much time with her as possible before the Gram I have known for 26-years totally slips away.

Last, we recently discovered that there was a 5-day lapse in insurance coverage. My COBRA ended 5/31/08, I got married 6/6/08, so from 6/1 - 6/5, I had no insurance. Unfortunately for me, they just so happened to run a bunch of tests on 6/2. I thought I was covered through the 5th. I thought I had insurance. Now that I'm learning I didn't, I have over 1000.00 in medical bills for ONE DAY!!!!!! One simple day of prenatal tests. Fabulous.

Today is not my favorite day ever.

Baby Update!

2008-10-17T14:07:00.007-06:00

So I went to the doctor today for my 33-week appointment. I'm doing great. Jayden is also doing great. I've gained 25-pounds so far... She told me that I could expect to gain about 30-35 for my pregnancy! Yay! They made me get a flu shot. And they scared the crap out of me by saying "well, your baby is due during RSV season!" Oh thanks! Not that I'm not scared to death already lol. Anyway, point here is that I got my flu shot. My arm hurts and I am getting that fabulous flu shot fever! Yay! But, my son will hopefully be protected and not get RSV.

BJ and I have been watching childbirth education videos, learning a lot. We have decided that I am going to try to have Jayden naturally, without an epidural. I am not totally ruling out an epidural; however, I truly don't want one if I can handle it. It's just that we learned that it gives the baby the best chance of bonding with the mother, as well as latching on, as I will be able to try to feed him right away. Like I said, I'm not ruling out an epidural at all, but I really don't want to get one if I don't have to. I was the only baby of my mothers that had an epidural and refused to breast feed. So, we'll see how it goes!

Some of you may know that we were toying with the idea of requesting an induction around Thanksgiving, to make it easier on us with time off and stuff... Well, after some consideration and research we have decided that we are not going to go for the induction. I want to avoid a c-section and an epidural, as I have already mentioned. One of the common reasons for a c-section is a failed induction. Also, when you are induced, they give you Pitocin, which requires that they also give you an epidural as Pitocin increases the intensity of the contractions a LOT. They sometimes have to give you the epidural earlier when using Pitocin than they would have otherwise, which can slow down and in some cases actually stop labor - leading to a c-section. It's funny how parents often have their own ideas of how things are going to go, they get it all planned out and stuff, and if my son has another agenda, all our plans could go out the window! We shall see! The closer it gets, the more excited I get. I can't believe that in only a few short weeks, I am going to be a mommy!

Here are some pics of his nursery and stuff.

Jayden's Crib - His daddy worked hard on it!

I made the "Jayden" out of wooden chalkboards I bought at Robert's arts and crafts. I painted the frames red and added the painted wooden cut-outs to the frames. I was really happy with the way it turned out!

And now for some belly pics! I feel huge!!!

Fox News Vote

2008-10-15T22:12:00.002-06:00

So I just finished watching the debate. Obama, as expected, did a phenomenal job. He gave precise answers and details regarding his policies, as well as visions for our country's future.

I wanted to see what Fox News had for a poll - I do that sometimes, even though I know that FOX noise is usually a bunch of crap... Anyway, so I go to the site, see a poll and vote for Obama. I get an error message the popped up on my screen! I call BJ over, show him. We both have a good laugh. Beej then says, "You should try voting for McCain instead and see what happens!" so I did. Surprise, surprise!!! It worked!!!!!

Oh how I wish I had taken screen shots!

Holidays... I need input :)

2008-10-14T13:28:00.002-06:00

So my post on dads in the delivery room has been successful enough in the voting category or input rather, that I am going to try it again. And, by the way, thank you for your comments about dads in the delivery room. It has led me to believe that the research my husband found was the minority not the majority, and he truly does have a place in the delivery room... Not that I would have let him get out of being in there, had he even wanted to, in the first place. He knew his attendance was mandatory :)

Note: This turned out to be a much longer and more in-depth post than I originally intended. If you don't want to have to read all of my ramblings, you can scroll to the bottom where I finally ask the question lol.

Ok, so holidays. The beauty and complication of the holidays. I have a complicated family, which is even more complicated by the fact that they live 2-hours away. My holidays were always busy even when I was single. I have my mom, my dad & step-mom, and lots of extended family. There are always 2 Thanksgiving dinners, at least. There are always at least 2 Christmas dinners as well. The holidays are spent running all over Logan. It is chaotic, but it is my family. I love them all, and I want to spend as much time with them as I can. Since meeting my husband, 4-years ago, we have added into this crazy mix, his family. They are far more simple than mine; however, they live in SLC with their extended family up in Idaho Falls. The only thing that complicates his family is that they aren't used to having to share (Beej and his ex-wife spent all holidays with his family because hers lived in Arkansas). They have done well with sharing for the most part, but at first it was tough and they are still getting used to it.

Thanksgiving has been the simple holiday. We alternate. First year, we spent it with his family in Idaho Falls, then mine, then his, and this year again with his because I will be so close to my due date I don't want to drive up to Logan and be far away from my hospital. Thanksgiving though has never really been a problem. Christmas, on the other hand, is a whole different story.

My dad's birthday is Christmas Eve. (I know, poor guy) My mother-in-law's birthday is the day after Christmas. My step-mother's family usually has a big Christmas party on Christmas Eve. My in-laws have a big Christmas Eve dinner tradition with nothing other than presents on Christmas Day. My mom has a Christmas Eve PJ's tradition. Ok, so since my dad usually goes to the Christmas Eve party with his wife, I have spent Christmas Eve with my husband's family every year since we met. My mom would like to see us on Christmas Eve, which I don't blame her, I'd like to see her too! My dad doesn't care. He's easy in all of this. So, since this is getting all confusing, let me try to simplify. For the last 3 years, I have spent Christmas Eve with BJ's family. Christmas morning we get up, open presents with his family, eat breakfast, pack up my Jimmy, and drive to Logan. Where we run around like chickens with our heads cut off all day long. The first year I was with BJ, we drove back to SLC on Christmas Day so we spent the next day with his mom on her birthday. Since then, I have said NAY to that. If we are missing my dad's birthday to spend it with his mom, we're missing his mom's birthday to spend it with my dad. I gave them slack on the first year because they weren't used to having to share. However, since then, I have decided that they just need to learn and we would help them do that. So after that first year, we drive back to SLC the day after Christmas.

Before I got pregnant, we were going to start a new Christmas schedule. We were going to alternate years on Christmas Eve. So, all of that which I explained above on opposite years. That way, every other year we'd actually spend the birthday with the parent whose birthday it actually is. And my family would get to see me on Christmas morning for the first time in 3-years. (My brothers really love their sister!!!!! They have been giving me crap about this for a LONG time now!) This new plan was because my husband said "I'm not going to make you go a year without seeing your family over Christmas, and I know you wouldn't want to do that to me either." He's close in his assumption, but not quite. See, I'm used to alternating years with my grandparents. He is not, his is a long and somewhat complicated family story, which I will summarize with - He only spent time with his paternal grandparents and paternal extended family on ALL holidays up until a few years ago. My extended family all lived in Logan and we'd just alternate Christmas dinners between them, this continued for the most part even after my parents divorced. So I am totally used to not seeing one side or the other on Christmas every other year. To me, that is normal. You alternate. If one family gets you for Thanksgiving, the other gets you for Christmas. And when your siblings all get married, which mine are years away from doing, you try to coordinate so your families are all together at the same time.

This year is complicated and I don't know what to do. I will have a newborn. I will have a cute, sweet, tiny little baby - who just so happens to be EVERYONE'S first grandchild. I have a new house, a new baby, and I've created my own little family. He's going to be so new that everyone is going to want to spend time with him on Christmas. He's going to be so new that I am just going to want to relax. I don't know what to do. See, in my opinion, NOW is the time to put feet down and alternate completely. We spend ALL of Christmas with one family or the other. And since Thanksgiving will be spent with the Hahn family this year, I feel that Christmas should be spent in Logan. I know that is going to be insanely hard on my in-laws. This is their first little grandbaby, they want to spend time with him and spoil him on Christmas (even though he's just going to be a cute, sleeping, little lump on Christmas). My family also wants to spend time with him. I don't want to do it like we have done in the past. Last year, the roads were sooooo bad and icy that we watched about 8 cars get in a wreck in front of us, and just barely missed being involved ourselves. I don't want to go through that with my newborn. I've joked that everyone just needs to come to us this year, but I know that wont happen. My dad and Lisa wont come down here for Christmas. Which is fine, they don't have to... and I'm sure my mom would, but I don't know about my brothers.... and it just isn't Christmas without my brothers! I love my brothers. They are my best little friends. They are my family. They have to be there. Ugh... so frustratingly complicated :(

This has been a very long, rambling post. Mostly I need to try to sort my thoughts and come up with a solution because I have lots of family members asking me what our plans are - Yes, I realize it is only October lol.

Here is where I need input:

What does your family do at Christmas time? How do you split your holidays? Last, do you have any advice for me? lol

Thank you! I need all the help I can get right now!

LoL

2008-10-08T18:03:00.003-06:00

I find this clip funny. McCain really doesn't even bother hiding the fact that he doesn't like Obama anymore does he!

Dads in delivery room? Vote

2008-10-06T14:57:00.003-06:00

So, my husband is nervous for the upcoming delivery of our first child. He went online today and did some searching via Google. Nearly everything he found was regarding women NOT wanting their men in there with them. This boggles my mind! As I told him, he is the MOST important person to be in there with me... According to the stuff he has found, women feel like the men are "useless" and so they just don't want them in there.

Which brings me to the point of this post. I want to take a vote. How many of you think that your husband should be in there with you during delivery and had your husbands in there with you during delivery? What are your feelings on the topic? And if any of you didn't want him in there, can you explain to me why that is?

Thanks!

LoveQ

I got tagged by Stacie...

2008-10-01T23:22:00.002-06:00

I got tagged by Stacie...

ABC's "getting to know you"

TAG ABC's of you. Each player then tags 3 people and posts their names, then go to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

A- Attached or single: Attached
B- Best Friend: BJ, and my mommy!
C-Cake or Pie: Gonna go for cake.
D-Day: can't think of one. maybe saturday or anyday I get to just relax with my husband and be lazy..
E- Essential Item: My computer
F- Favorite Color: pink
G-Gummi Bears or Worms: Bears.. but only Haribo brand
H-Home town: Logan
I- Indulgences: Hmm, my latest craving is french fries - I still crave pineapple and strawberries as well...
J- January or July?: January, I'm a winter girl
K-Kids: One cooking in the oven right now... He's due in 2 months though! OMG!!!
L-Life is incomplete without: Family
M- Marriage Date: June 6, 2008
N- Number of Siblings: 3 brothers and 1 sister
O- Oranges or Apples: oranges
P- Phobias or Fears: Snakes and large groups of people - like people claustrophobia
Q- Quote: Happiness is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it.
R- Reason To Smile: When my son stretches out inside me or kicks anytime I hold another baby. He's pretty protective of my tummy... Even if Beej lays his head on my tummy, you can be sure that Jayden will kick his daddy in the face, a LOT! lol
S- Season: Summer and Fall
T- Tag Three: oh man... I don't even know 3 other bloggers... and one I know sent this to me! Cruel Stacie, cruel! lol ... Ok 1) Beej, via blog - the others are gonna have to go via email! 2) Mommy, 3)Stacy
U- Unknown fact about me: i have never seen star wars, the princess bride, any indiana jones movie, the monty python things... and many other "classics" that I'm supposed to have seen.
V- Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animal: I am not supposed to eat a lot of meat. And I don't like a lot of meat... but I do eat burgers and steaks... and I love salmon, tuna, and shrimp... so I guess I'm an opressor of animals! lol
W- Worst Habit: Leaving lights on and cabinets wide open... I have a very short attention span! lol
X-Rays or Ultrasounds: Ultrasounds
Y-Your favorite food: Salad, Pineapple, Strawberries... and a few other things - I don't have single favorite anythings!
Z: Zodiac Sign: Pisces

Sad but true

2008-10-01T23:19:00.002-06:00

This is so sad. When I was a kid, this episode aired. It is a real Duck Tales episode and I needed to share this with the grown ups. Too bad I can't send this video to everyone in the house and senate eh? lol

THE OMM NOM NOM KITTY!!!

2008-09-27T21:29:00.001-06:00

Dedicated to my husband, who has found a new meme he loves. The omm nom nom kitty has been found.

Bill O'Reilly just amazed me

2008-09-26T15:24:00.001-06:00

If you know me, you know that I generally HATE Fox News. I seem to think most of the time they don't rely on facts and they are insane.... Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity are the worst... However, today I came across this video and I am amazed... Jaw is currently dropped. This was on his radio show. Listen to this. Holy Shit. That is all.

Politics

2008-09-25T17:09:00.002-06:00

I'm going all political for a moment because I am frustrated. I am overly frustrated by a million things going on today in this country and I can't take it.

First of all, this bailout. Why? Why do we have to go through with it? I realize that it could put our country into a recession, but we've been in a recession. Right now there is such an imbalance between the "haves" in power and the "have-nots" who aren't, that this country is crumbling. Last night the President gave a speech blaming a giant majority of the problems we face on the housing market and loans given to "those who couldn't afford them." That is true, there were loans given to those who couldn't afford them, done by predatory lenders in many aspects. However, homes were overpriced, and rent was right up there with the cost of a mortgage. I've heard attack after attack about stupid borrowers who got in over their heads and shouldn't have even thought of owning a home. Yet these same people fail to mention that salaries haven't risen with the housing market - which was totally overinflated - and as someone who rented until 2 months ago, I can tell you that when you are paying $1000 a month (which was a damn good deal I might add) in rent it is pretty freakin difficult to then put away another 1000-2000 a month to save up for 20% down on a house. Especially when the prices of homes and rent for that matter were rising so much more quickly than the average person's salary.

When I got pregnant, we loooked into renting a house, as we needed more space for our son. The condo that we rented up until August was 1100 square feet or so, had two bedrooms and two bathrooms, was on the 4th floor, and had NO storage at all. We knew that there was a mortgage fallout and that well-qualified buyers were having a difficult time securing a mortgage, so we weren't sure that it was even possible for us. Thus, I began looking into renting a house for our growing family. The rent for a house equivalent to that which we now own was 1700-1800 a month. More expensive than our current mortgage. How the hell does someone save up for a downpayment of 20-30% and pay for that on a reasonable and utterly middle-class salary of around 50-60k per year??? Not to mention the other factors like rising fuel prices, food prices, the basic inflation of everything with the total devaluation of our dollar. Inflation has risen over 5% the last two years in a row, the "cost-of-living" raise most people receive is around 3%. Fuel prices? Risen over 30% in the last year, food prices are up 7% - all of that ON TOP of inflation.

Our country's middle class is hurting. Yet we are about to let our representatives bail out wallstreet to the tune of 700 Billion dollars. Oh and while we were concerned about that 700 Billion dollars of added debt we are leaving our children... good 'ol congress passed a whopping 25 Billion dollars in "assistance" to Ford and GM. Are you freaking kidding me? So now I am paying for those car manufacturers to develop more efficient and economically friendly vehicles... do you think that they are going to make those damn cars affordable? Probably not. It is absolutely rediculous. It makes me sick. It makes me ashamed of my country. It makes me ashamed of my economy. It breaks my heart for my son, as we are leaving him with this burden. It breaks my heart for my grandchildren, who will be left to clean up this mess of the last 8-years. We pay 10Billion a month for a war we shouldn't be engaged in. It was a warrantless war and we need out. The only thing I can do about this is vote right? Wrong. I can't even do that. I live in a state where party affiliation trumps individual thinking and the majority of the people here are going to blindly vote for McCain. Why? Oh he's a freaking republican. Bush is a republican. Do you think we are in a better place now than we were 8-years ago? NO. Now, if a republican like Ron Paul was running who is a real republican and not some rediculous neo-conservative, I would be happy to live in a state where people just blindly vote for any retard with an elephant next to their name. However, my republican option is McCain. John McCain. OMG. Heaven help us all. So now when I go vote I will be doing so knowing that it is a waste of my time and the paper on which I punch out Obama's name.

For my son, this occupation needs to end. It's not a war. It is an occupation, and guess what, YOU CAN'T WIN AN OCCUPATION!!!!! I have been following this war since it began. I was one of those news junkies who was up and watching when we bombed Iraq for the very first time. It was breaking news on CNN, and I was sick over it. I have been against this since the beginning. I have been against our retarded President. I am sick over the state of our country. I am sick knowing that this is the legacy I am leaving my son. And if you can't tell, I'm just rambling, venting, and generally going off because I am so frustrated!!!!!

I am blessed to be in a home. I am blessed that we found a lender who was willing to give us a chance. I am blessed that we were able to get an FHA loan and that when we got our loan we were still able to receive "gifted" money, as we had to come up with 3% of our loan. I am able to give my son a safe and stable place to live right now. I can't control the rest of the country, I can only hope that people start to see the light and my generation starts to vote and participate in our political system. Right now, the decisions that are being made while we aren't paying attention are going to be effecting us for the rest of our lives and our ignorance is going to burden our children and our children's children.

And for anyone still reading and curious. This is one of those chain emails I got, but it helped put things into perspective. Consider the following. We are going to potentially give wallstreet 700Billion, we gave Ford and GM 25Billion, and Iraq costs us 10Billion a month. Our current national debt is over 12TRILLION. The following email is "What is a billion"

This is too true to be funny

The next time you hear a politician use the

word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about

whether you want the 'politicians' spending

YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,

but one advertising agency did a good job of

putting that figure into some perspective in

one of its releases.

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were

living in the Stone Age.

D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and

20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at New Orleans It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number, what does it mean?

A. Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of

New Orleans (every! man, w oman, child), you

each get $516,528.

B. Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in

New Orleans ! , your home gets $1,329,787.

C. Or, if you are a family of four, your family

gets $2,066,012.

Washington , D.C .. HELLO!!! ... Are all your calculators broken??

Accounts Receivable Tax

Building Permit Tax

CDL License Tax

Cigarette Tax

Corporate Income Tax

Dog License Tax

Federal Income Tax

Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)

Fishing License Tax

Food License Tax

Fuel Perm it Tax

Gasoline Tax

Hunting License Tax

Inheritance Tax

Inventory Tax

IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax),

IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax),

Liquor Tax,

Luxury Tax,

Marriage License Tax,

Medicare Tax,

Property Tax,

Real Estate Tax,

Service charge taxes,

Social Security Tax,

Road Usage Tax (Truckers),

Sales Taxes,

Recreational Vehicle Tax,

School Tax,

State Income Tax,

State Unemployment Tax (SUTA),

Telephone Federal Excise Tax,

Telephone Federal Universal Service Fe e Tax,

Telephone Federal, State and Local Su rcharge Tax,

Telephone Minimum Usage Su rcharge Tax,

Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax,

Telephone State and Local Tax! ,

Telephone Usage Charge Tax,

Utility Tax,

Vehicle License Registration Tax,

Vehicle Sales Tax,

Watercraft Registration Tax,

Well Permit Tax,

Workers Compensation Tax.

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago,

and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.

We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What happened? Can you spell 'politicians!'

And I still have to 'press

1' for English.

I hope this goes around THE

USA at least 100 times

What the heck happened?????

And this is why I ranted.

Death of a name...

2008-09-23T17:27:00.002-06:00

Today I legally changed my name from Carlie Celeste Campbell, the name I was given at birth and have signed for the last 26-1/2 years, to Carlie Celeste Hahn. I have been procrastinating the whole name change thing for a while now. I love my husband, I love his name, and I always told him I would take his name. Yet, when it came down to it... I was... reluctant. I am fairly confident that the majority of my feelings have to do with the fact that I am pregnant and overly emotional; however, I really felt like a part of me was dying by giving up my name - and as dramatic as I'm sure I sound, today is the day that Carlie Celeste Campbell is gone. So let's mourn the loss of the Carlie as we have known her, and celebrate the creation of the all new Carlie Hahn.

The good news is that I got registered to vote at my new address and with my new name. Also when my little Jayden is born I will have the same last name as my beautiful baby boy, which I hear reduces complication!

-UPDATES-

- Beej and I have been in our house for nearly two months now. We absolutely love it. My home is beautiful and is perfect for entertaining.
- I am 29-weeks along now. Jayden is a very active little man. He kicks all day long! It is a fabulous feeling. He's so strong that you can see my stomach jump when he kicks me!
- My son seems to love music just like his daddy! When BJ plays certain songs on RockBand, Jayden just kicks and kicks. Like he's dancing or drumming just like his daddy. It is very cute.
- My baby brother Brandon - who will soon be 18 - has been cast as Kinicki in Logan High School's production of Grease! Dates for the musical are November 21-22, 2008. Brandon has also been nominated for Homecoming royalty! Go SOUP!

I'll post again soon.

Dedication to BJ

2008-08-19T14:21:00.003-06:00

I dedicate this to BJ. If only it had been out when we got married, this would have been our first dance!

Song: Tangled up in you
Artist: Staind

You're My World
The Shelter From The Rain
You're The Pills
That Take Away My Pain
You're The Light
That Helps Me Find My Way
You're The Words
When I Have Nothing To Say

And In This World
Where Nothing Else Is True
Here I Am
Still Tangled Up In You
I'm Still Tangled Up In You
Still Tangled Up In You

You're The Fire
That Warms Me When I'm Cold
You're The Hand
I Have To Hold As I Grow Old
You're The Shore
When I Am Lost At Sea
You're The Only Thing
That I Like About Me

And In This World
Where Nothing Else Is True
Here I Am
Still Tangled Up In You
I'm Still Tangled Up In You

How Long Has It Been
Since This Storyline Began
And I Hope It Never Ends
And Goes Like This Forever

In This World
Where Nothing Else Is True
Here I Am
Still Tangled Up In You
Tangled Up In You
I'm Still Tangled Up In You
Still Tangled Up In You

Over-reacting? Or legitimate freak out??

2008-07-31T13:02:00.002-06:00

So we're back from our road trip, it was... right... next subject! The day of my last entry they surprised us with the inspection and appraisal. Everything with our house is perfect. We're moving towards closing on Tuesday! Yay!

So I've been experiencing some things with my pregnancy lately and I'm kind of freaking out. Things are painful. I have 3 separate types of pain. First, Jayden is just getting big and he's heavy. I can feel the weight of him and the pressure it is putting on me, it's not pleasant but it is to be expected and only going to get worse. Second, I've been experiencing a pinching/jabbing pain that I am told is round ligament pain and totally normal since the week of my wedding which was nearly 2 months ago. Last, I am having contractions. It is the only way to explain it. I get a sharp, breath-taking pain that lasts a minute or two then goes away. The more active I am (like packing, cleaning, etc) the worse it gets - at least it happens more frequently. It literally feels like my body is contracting... It is constricting and causing me pain, and it scares me. I know Braxton-Hicks are supposed to be normal, but they aren't supposed to be painful yet and they aren't supposed to be frequent. What I am feeling is both painful and frequent. Now I'm trying to just be patient, I go to the doc on the 7th and I plan on talking to her when I go, I am just a little scared.

Everyone keeps telling me "things are only going to get worse" and this statement is freaking me out. I'm already huge! I am vertically challenged, I have no torso, I knew I was gonna get big... but I can't imagine my poor stomach stretching out any further than it already has... Sleeping is getting difficult, he's heavy inside of me and it just hurts.... And like I said earlier, he's heavy and I can feel his weight as he grows... All of this is "only going to get worse!" Holy S*** are you serious??? I am freaking out a bit! lol

I just hope that my family understands and loves me when it comes to moving day... I am realizing more and more that I can't do a whole lot. I feel a bit worthless and helpless... I just have a really hard time giving up control and letting other people do everything for me! Poor me, what a sad little post. I guess i just needed to get this off my chest lol. I'll write a happier post next time :)

Movie, road trip, and an update!!

2008-07-23T11:30:00.004-06:00

So yesterday I had the opportunity to go to a private showing of the new Batman film at Jordan Commons. Beej's buddy Travis works for an awesome company that allowed him to bring friends and family with to the showing! It was awesome! The movie is fantastic! Heath Ledger did a phenomenal job! I'm even glad I went to see it in the theater (and if you know me, you know that is huge, cuz I hate theaters!). It is also one of those that I will definitely be purchasing when it is released! If you liked Batman Begins, you will love this one!

Tonight we're going on a road trip! Heading to Logan tonight, leaving Friday morning for Idaho Falls, coming back to Logan Saturday night probably, then home to SLC on Sunday! I haven't seen my family since the wedding, which was nearly 2 months ago! Stupid gas prices!!!!

Our appraisal and inspection is scheduled for the first of next week. I am going today to see the house again, I'm going to take a bunch of pictures. If I can figure it out, I will post them all on here for you to see! I'm very proud of our first house! I'm so excited!!!!!

What's new as of today!

2008-07-22T11:47:00.002-06:00

It's been a while since my last post. BJ and I have been very busy with things, but I have a lot of awesome updates and only a little bit of time!

First, and most importantly, IT'S A BOY!!!!!!!!!! We found out on the 15th that I am having a boy, his name will be Jayden Chandler Hahn. We are all very excited. The Hahn name would have ended with BJ and his brother Matt, so everyone was hoping for a boy to carry on the Hahn legacy! haha. Looks like the Hahn's will live to see another generation! I was excited because I have 3 brothers. I am better with boys than I am with girls. Granted, I still want a girl someday, but only one. Lol, I essentially want my family: 3 boys, 1 girl. My ever so eloquent and loving father said "Good! They are much easier" when I told him it was a boy.

Next, BJ and I are buying our first house! We started the pre-approval process at the end of June, and then started looking at houses shortly there after. We have a fabulous agent, Toni Allen, who does this in her spare time, but is amazing. She found the house we made an offer on. It is a great home. It was very well taken care of. The couple who built the home are the ones who are selling it to us. We accepted their counter offer, and the inspection/appraisal are scheduled for next week! We gave our landlord notice and we have to be out of our condo by August 13, so the closing has to happen by Aug 8th so that my Logan crew can come down and help me move on the weekend :) They're all so sweet! (Another perk of 3 brothers!!). The house is perfect for us. It has a big kitchen, hardwood floors, a finished basement, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, 3 family rooms. It has an open floor plan and the yard is phenomenal! It is so private and has giant trees. It is so exciting! I can't wait to have a BBQ with all my friends and family in my own home! The best part for me is that I will have a bedroom for my baby. I will have a place for him and all of his stuff. I can paint how I want to, I can decorate how I want, I can make any change that my budget will allow.

I hope you are all doing well and I apologize for being an airhead lately. As you can see I've been quite busy and focused on other things. I love you all and I promise I'll get better at staying in touch! I'll post again soon :)

Q

Pregnancy is amazing!!!

2008-07-11T12:35:00.002-06:00

I am 18-19 weeks pregnant right now. Every day I am amazed by the miracle that is growing inside of me. I may be wrong about what I think I feel, but I don't care. It is my opinion of my pregnancy and how I believe things are happening... and ALL of it amazes, intrigues, and excites me. I can feel the baby getting heavier. I can feel his/her weight putting pressure on me moreso now than ever before. I can feel the baby stretching his/her arms and legs... It is amazing! I can feel a human growing inside of me. That is insane! I can't even describe this experience!

I am past most of the crappy stuff. I still have to pee every 5 minutes, I'm expanding and I just look HUGE! There are body parts that hurt like hell and other ones that are just sore and crampy all the time... Aside from that stuff, I am at the part of pregnancy that is really quite enjoyable! It's just a miracle. It is an enjoyable, amazing, gift that I am lucky enough to experience!

I have my next ultrasound on July 15, where we will hopefully find out whether "bean" is a boy or a girl :) I will keep you posted!

Daddy-Daughter Dance...

2008-06-27T15:54:00.000-06:00

When I was planning my fabulous wedding, I wanted to have a Daddy-Daughter dance. I mean, this is my ONLY daddy and since I was having a full blown somewhat traditional wedding I wanted to have a dance with him. Well technically I wanted a lot of dancing, but specific dances with me and daddy, my mom to dance with each of my brothers, my dad to dance with Lisa, and Beej to dance with his mom... oh and the dance between Beej and myself. Sadly, the only dances that took place were between Beej and myself, and Beej and his mother.

That said, I went to a lot of work to pick out a great Daddy-Daughter Dance song for us! Since I didn't get the chance to dance with him, and I still think the song that I picked is fabulous and perfect, I am going to post the lyrics for you and then you can find it and listen to it.

Song: I loved her first
Artist: Heartland

Look at the two of you dancing that way
Lost in the moment and each others face
So much in love your alone in this place
Like there's nobody else in the world
I was enough for her not long ago
I was her number one
She told me so
And she still means the world to me
Just so you know
So be careful when you hold my girl
Time changes everything
Life must go on
And I'm not gonna stand in your way
But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she'd find you someday
But its still hard to give her away
I loved her first
How could that beautiful women with you
Be the same freckle face kid that I knew
The one that I read all those fairy tales to
And tucked into bed all those nights
And I knew the first time I saw you with her
It was only a matter of time
But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she'd find you someday
But its still hard to give her away
I loved her first
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
Someday you might know what I'm going through
When a miracle smiles up at you
I loved her first

Now, if I knew how to upload music to a blog, I would add the song for you... but alas, I have NO idea how to do that! hehe

Daddy, this was supposed to be our song. Maybe someday we'll dance to it :) LoveQ

Sleepness night after a busy day...

2008-06-26T03:28:00.000-06:00

Tonight is another pregnant sleepless night. I tried sleeping, but I woke up covered in hives scratching myself again. I took a bunch of Benadryl, as I usually do, and now I'm up and bored til the stuff kicks in :)

I wanted to create a journal for my baby. Something that he/she could have someday to know more about mom and dad and where they came from. I had been attempting to write all of that information down, but I have been failing miserably. I told my friend Stacie about my "goal" and she recommended that I start a blog. I never really pictured myself as a blogger, but being able to mindlessly type in an online journal is pretty cool. Plus I type a hell of a lot faster than I can write!!

Today was a pretty crazy day! BJ and I started a pre-qualification process on a mortgage. We just might have our house by the time the baby gets here! We drove around for a few hours looking at houses and I have to say that I am in LOVE with the Daybreak area. It had the most amazing Pleasantville feel to it (if that doesn't make sense to you, watch the movie!). There were kids playing everywhere, it felt so happy and safe... It was almost like the feeling of Bristol Road where I grew up. I want that for my kids. I want my kids to be able to play in a neighborhood where it is safe and parents don't have to watch the kids every move... I want my kids to grow up in an area down here that is similar to where I was lucky enough to grow up. I don't want to deadbolt my kids in to a house and tell them to stay inside until I get home from work. I never had to do that growing up and I certainly don't want to do that to my children because we choose to live in more of a city than Logan.

There were parks all over in Daybreak, a man-made lake... beautiful scenery everywhere. The houses are so cute and they are all new which means that there is going to be less maintenance for us in the short-term. The houses will definitely appreciate out there as well, so even a townhouse is a good investment opportunity. BJ should find out tomorrow how much of a mortgage he qualifies for, and then we can start the search. We didn't even want to start this process until after we had the pre-qual letter. It is looking very promising though and we are absolutely ecstatic over this!

I will keep you posted.

LoveQ